snideblonde's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- writing after a hiatus I just clicked on a link for "Gay Actors still closeted in Hollywood" and the article had been removed. Is the long arm of Hollywood power reaching into Canada and censoring journalists? Probably. I was thinking today that I've turned into an old fart. I'm not as fun as I used to be. I always think this way at the end of a long winter. It doesn't help that its still snowing and the sky is grey. I feel like an entirely different person in the spring/summer. In the winter I want to crawl up into a ball and sleep for endless hours. There's something about the outside elements seeming insurmountable and the need to relax in warmth and comfort far from the maddening world. Essentially, I've been a hermit. Once spring finally arrives I'll suddenly become more social and have more energy. Starting a high pressure new job doesn't help matters. I've needed the balance of an interesting, active life and consequently had jobs that allowed me to explore and enjoy that. Now that I'm no longer acting or doing something creative professionally I'm having a hard time maintaining that balance. I feel myself morphing into one of those work is life people. The pressures of the job and kind of attention to detail that it demands render me helpless and exhausted by the end of the day. I've never really cared much about having a "career" outside of my acting career. Nothing has ever grabbed me in quite the same way. Though the inherent poverty required got old after a while. It helps to be an actor if your folks are rich or your husband is. Otherwise it's tough. Sorry I digress. This job is interesting to me and it's important to me that I'm good at it. But then I want more money if I'm going to care that much. Know what I mean? Isn't it boring reading about how exhausted people are? Anyway, that will all change and suddenly I'll feel reborn at the first smack of seriously warm weather. I know it. I'm craving an escape out of the city. I think the west coast would be nice. Lets try to make that happen then. 8:30 p.m. - 2008-04-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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